Families can be together forever!! My conversion story

This is my conversion story!! LOL..I was born and rasied in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints but I have been on my share of wide and windy roads. I'm sharing this with everyone because if it can help someone find their way back to Jesus, or answer questions that they may have then it is good and anything that is good should be shared. This is one of the most intimate times in my life, the Cliff Note version. Enjoy :)

For My Little Boy

I can still smell that newborn smell, that babies always have.

I can still feel your sweet soft skin, your tiny baby hands.

I can still see your big plump cheeks, and your long black wavy hair.

I've taken a picture in my mind and in my heart it will remain there.

We used to sit around and wonder about how your gonna look.

If it would be my eyes you have, or dads big smile you took.

I sit up at night thinking, of the features that you had.

Now I know for certain, you would have looked just like your dad.

Than all at once it hits me, you're never coming home.

Youre going up to heaven and we're going home alone.

Our bed to remain empty with no baby lying there.

The clothes to remain new and clean, with no baby to ever wear.

The baby tub will remain clean and dry, it will never fill with water.

The toys and all the things we bought, our baby will never bother.

For seven years we waited,
For seven years we tried.

The day I found out you were coming, I couldnt help but cry.

For 9 whole months we talked, about plans we had for you.

All the expectations that we had, all the things wed have you do.

You've done so much for dad and I, youll never know your worth.

You saved our little family, and now your missions done on earth.

Goodbye my little baby, my perfect little boy.

Dont be sad cause mommies crying, these are tears of joy.

Cause Im sending you to heaven and theres no other better place,

To keep you safe, but up there my son, in Gods amazing grace.

~By Betsy Lao for Isileli Motekiai Lao
Written 21April 21, 2006

I wrote that the night I came home from the hospital after I had my baby. The summer of 05 we found out I was pregnant and that was the best news to hear because we were'nt sure if I could have kids or not. Teki had just got back from Iraq in May and we found out the end of July. We had prepared for this baby to come home and grow up and be with us but on April 17, 2006 we were hit with the worse news ever. I went in to the hospital to get induced, I was 38 weeks along and ready to pop this kid out. When I sat down for the nurse to grab the baby's heartbeat, they couldn't find it. Needless to say, this was the most sad and depressing time in my life, BY FAR!!!

I asked the doctor to just go ahead and do a c-section because I didn't wanna go thru the labor but he advised that I go ahead and labor him out because if I ever got pregnant again I could give birth vaginally...yeah, the furthest thing from my mind at the time...LOL....stupid doctors. Anyways, so they induced me on Monday April 17th 2006 around 5pm and I gave birth Wednesday April 19th 2006 around 2pm. He was a beautiful baby. He was 8 pounds and 3 ounces and 21 inches long...a biiiig boy!! We were able to spend a few hours with him as a family before they took him to the mourge. These are moments that I will treasure in my heart until I'm old and senile and cannot remember them anyomre!! :)

This was definitely one of the most trying times of my life. I know that families are forever and all the jazz but these are moments where your faith is just shaken. I have never doubted my faith in the church...don't get me wrong...just shaken. One thing I knew for sure is that my son came, he had a body, he fulfilled his mission and he was called back to heaven. His mission? To come here and perform an INTERVENTION!! LOL! That was a time in my life where I was on the wrong path...a path that, if continued on, would, without a doubt, lead me into a personal hell and possibly an eternal spiritual hell and damnation. I was addicted to a ton of things including drugs and alcohol. All things of which I had quit as soon as I found out I was expecting. I know that if I had not ever gotten pregnant with him that there was no way my family, my husband or the church would ever be able to get me back onto the right path.

I am so greatful for him. I owe my salvation to him and although I am still not perfect, I will strive everyday to better my life so that I can see him again. He will be our Forever Baby Isi, watching over us as we look forward to the day when we can be reunited. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and his purpose here on earth. I wonder about how his personality would have been. I picture him running around with my other 2 kids and I can't help but smile. I know he is here with me in spirit. He keeps me grounded and continuously wanting me to do the right thing.

We didn't think it would happen, but we were blessed with another baby in Jan of 2008. The Lord works in mysterious ways and I will testify of that!!! The Lord is mindful of our personal, spiritual, temporal, physical and daily struggles. He will find a way to see you thru any trial or tribulation that you put yourself in or the ones he puts you in. I love my 2 Isi's, I love my daugther liz and I love my rock, my strength, my hero, my bestfriend, my husband Teki. Teki has been there thru the good, the bad and the really ugly and that is why I can never ever live without him. He is the most understanding, kind, loving person you will ever meet. You would have thought that his patients would have ran thin with me but they didnt. He stuck with me thru times that any other husband would have left their wife already. Everyone already loves him cuz he's so cool but only I will ever know and appreciate HOW GOOD of a person he REALLY is. And I la la la looooooooove God and his son Jesus Christ. And even tho from time to time my carnal desires take over and I take on the natural man, instead of putting him off, I know without a doubt that The church is true and that the Lord was there with me in my darkest hour and that in the garden of Gathsemene he went thru that pain that I went thru that day in the hospital and he felt my pain and anguish and lonliness and sorrow. It is so good to know that I have a divine brother who shared that undescribeable pain with me and if your feeling lost and down, he will share that pain with you and take your yolk upon himself...you just gotta let him!! I love you all. Amen.